Confessions of a Mompreneur

I don’t blame him. I’ve been working a lot lately. Like, really a lot. I’m currently seeing 25 therapy clients, teaching 12 private lessons, running 4 early childhood classes and I’m working on a potential contract with a long term care facility.  That’s in addition to all the administrative stuff that needs to get done. I’m not home nearly as much as I would like to be, and I can’t say that I’m 100% present when I am home. I’m not proud of that. Thank God I have such an awesome husband. (Seriously, the man is the best. If things need picked up, cleaned up, laundry done, he is more likely to get to it than I am. Without being asked. I am forever grateful to his parents for raising him so well.)

 Bear with me while I have one of those, ‘Oh my gosh I’m such a terrible parent’ moments.

 Can I be real for a minute? I’m exhausted. I know I’m too overloaded to give my absolute best anywhere in the craziness and I hate that. My mind is in a million places and I have a terrible time focusing on what really needs to be done, and I am so hard on myself when I don’t get things done.

Like, I should be working on billing or responding to emails right now, but instead, I’m writing this blog post. Although, one could argue that by writing this I’m doing some self-care by putting my thoughts and anxieties down on ‘paper’. But I digress…

I love that my business is finally growing like crazy because I honestly didn’t think the day would ever come. I mean, wow, I’m actually supporting my family with something that I built. How cool is that?!?

 Listen, I want and need to hire an employee. I know I have reached that point. My goal has always been to hire employees, significantly cut back clinically, and work in more of an administrative role in the business so I can spend more time at home. I don’t want to spend my entire work life on the road, or working late so many nights during the week.  But I’m terrified. Taking on employees is really scary. I would have non-related people dependent on me to run my business well enough to provide them a livelihood. There are too many ‘what-if’s’ to even begin to discuss here. Not to mention how in the heck am I going to get someone to want to move here? Ugh.

 I don’t share all of this in order to get a pity party. Quite the opposite. I had a pretty good idea of what I was getting into. I knew it would be really challenging, made even more so after adding a child. I share this so that others like me don’t feel alone in their anxieties and frustrations. Business ownership while parenting is not all rainbows and butterflies, in fact it’s often not. It’s really hard, frustrating, and often results in tears from someone (usually me- I just hide them well). But nothing that is worthwhile is ever easy and that’s why I do it. So, even though I’m scared and scattered, it’s time to put my big girl panties back on and get back to work. There are music therapists out there looking for jobs and more importantly there’s a little boy right here at home who needs more time with his momma.

 So be on the look out for a job posting from me in the next few months, and if you happen to know anyone who would love to live in the middle of cornfields, please send them my way 😉

 Thanks for listening.